Narrative Therapy: A Path Through Grief
- Eric L. Ross, M.Ed.
- Nov 17, 2025
- 5 min read
Grief is a journey we all face at some point. It can feel overwhelming, confusing, and deeply personal. When I first encountered narrative grief therapy, I was struck by how gently it invites us to explore our stories, to find meaning, and to heal. This approach doesn’t rush us or tell us how to feel. Instead, it offers a warm, supportive space where we can rewrite the narratives that grief has written for us. If you’re navigating loss, I want to share how narrative therapy can be a comforting path forward.
Understanding Narrative Grief Therapy
Narrative grief therapy is a unique way of working through loss. It’s based on the idea that the stories we tell about our experiences shape how we understand ourselves and the world. When someone we love dies, the story we’ve lived with changes dramatically. Narrative grief therapy helps us unpack those stories, look at them from new angles, and find ways to tell them that bring hope and healing.
What I appreciate most about this approach is its respect for your personal experience. It doesn’t try to fix grief or make it disappear. Instead, it encourages you to become the author of your own story again. You get to decide which parts of your grief story to hold onto and which parts to rewrite.
Imagine sitting down with a trusted friend who listens deeply, asks gentle questions, and helps you see your story in a new light. That’s what narrative grief therapy feels like. It’s a collaborative process where your voice matters most.
How Narrative Therapy Helps Us Heal
Grief can feel like a heavy weight, but narrative therapy offers tools to lighten that load. One of the key ways it helps is by separating the person from the problem. Instead of saying, “I am grief,” narrative therapy encourages us to say, “Grief is something I am experiencing.” This small shift can make a big difference. It reminds us that grief is not who we are—it’s something we are going through.
This approach also invites us to explore the different stories we tell ourselves about loss. Sometimes, these stories can trap us in pain or guilt. Narrative therapy helps us identify those stories and gently challenge them. For example, if you feel like you “should have done more” for a loved one, narrative therapy can help you see that story from a kinder, more realistic perspective.
Another powerful aspect is the focus on values and strengths. Even in the darkest moments, narrative therapy helps us find the parts of ourselves that remain strong and hopeful. It’s about rediscovering your resilience and the things that give your life meaning.
If you’re curious about how this works in practice, you might want to explore narrative therapy for grief to see how it can be tailored to your unique experience.
What is Narrative Therapy?
Narrative therapy often follows a gentle, structured process that helps guide you through your grief story. Here are the five key steps that many find helpful:
Externalizing the Problem
This means seeing grief as something outside of yourself. Instead of “I am overwhelmed,” you might say, “Grief is overwhelming me right now.” This helps create space between you and your feelings.
Mapping the Influence
Here, you explore how grief affects different parts of your life—your relationships, your daily routines, your sense of self. It’s about understanding the impact without being consumed by it.
Identifying Unique Outcomes
These are moments when grief feels less powerful or when you experience relief, joy, or connection despite your loss. Recognizing these moments helps build hope.
Re-authoring the Story
This step invites you to rewrite your grief story, focusing on your strengths, values, and hopes. It’s about creating a narrative that supports healing and growth.
Reinforcing the New Narrative
Finally, you find ways to live out your new story. This might include sharing it with others, creating rituals, or making changes that reflect your renewed sense of self.
Each step is a gentle invitation to explore your grief with curiosity and compassion. You don’t have to rush through them. Take your time, and remember that healing is not a straight line.
Practical Ways to Use Narrative Therapy in Your Grief Journey
You might wonder how to bring narrative therapy into your daily life. Here are some practical ideas that I’ve found helpful, and that many others have shared:
Write Your Story
Grab a journal or open a document on your computer. Start by writing about your loss and how it has affected you. Then, try to write about moments when you felt strength or hope. Don’t worry about grammar or style—just let your thoughts flow.
Talk to a Trusted Listener
Share your story with someone who listens without judgment. This could be a friend, family member, or therapist. Sometimes, hearing your story out loud helps you see it differently.
Create a Ritual
Rituals can be powerful ways to honor your grief and your healing. This might be lighting a candle, planting a tree, or creating a memory box. These acts can symbolize your new narrative.
Ask Gentle Questions
When you notice painful thoughts, try asking yourself questions like:
- What is grief trying to tell me?
- How has this experience changed me?
- What strengths have I discovered in myself?
Celebrate Small Wins
Healing is often slow and subtle. Celebrate moments when you feel a little lighter, laugh, or connect with others. These are signs your story is shifting.
If you feel stuck, reaching out to a professional who practices narrative therapy can provide personalized support. They can guide you through these steps with care and expertise.
Embracing Your Story with Compassion
Grief is not something to rush or fix. It’s a deeply personal journey that deserves kindness and patience. Narrative grief therapy offers a way to embrace your story with compassion, to see yourself not just as someone who has lost, but as someone who is growing, learning, and healing.
Remember, your story is yours to tell. You have the power to shape it in ways that honor your experience and support your well-being. Whether you write it down, share it with others, or simply hold it gently in your heart, your narrative matters.
If you’re ready to explore this path, know that help is available. You don’t have to walk through grief alone. Narrative therapy can be a guiding light, helping you find your way through the darkness toward a place of peace and hope.
Take your time. Be gentle with yourself. And remember, every step you take is a step toward healing.
If you want to learn more about how narrative therapy can support your healing, consider exploring narrative therapy for grief and reaching out to us at Attune Counselling Therapy. It might just be the gentle, compassionate approach you need right now.
